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  • Writer's pictureJohn Chu

Broken Trust

A good percentage of my patients have issues with their parents. They carry invisible scars of abuse, neglect, depression, and betrayal.

All of them want to LOVE their parents, but all of them KNOW it's a losing battle. They go through cycles of ups and downs -- periods of love and hate that spill into every aspect of their lives. They'd have trouble working and loving their own spouse and kids. They all have broken trusts.

When one can't trust and love their own parents, the world is not safe for one to love and trust anyone. The Heart wants nothing but to LOVE and TRUST, but the brain has all the past facts against them. The real battle, then, is between the Heart's desire to heal and the brain's self-protection to be right!

This seems to be an unsolvable puzzle -- how does one love unconditionally someone who broke one's trust? It's unsolvable because we'd equate bad behaviors to being a bad person. Suffering ends when we change that equation.

A person can love his/her parents unconditionally, but disagree fully their behaviors. This satisfies both the Heart's desire and Brain's self-protection. As one's ability to love unconditionally progresses, one is more and more immune to being hurt. Thus Brain's self protection can get lower. This creates a healthy cycle and ultimate healing.

Then there's no forgive and forget, just LOVE.

Love Peace Harmony

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